Temidayo Malumi: One Year After 🕊️

There have been days when I needed to get your opinions and guidance on things that left me utterly confused. There have been days when I genuinely looked forward to our long walks whilst talking about future plans, talks about how heavy things were for you and yes, things you wanted to do better if time still permitted. I miss those conversations more than I can properly explain.

The memories we shared will last a lifetime. I'll never forget what growing up with you was like. If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't even have been exposed to foreign hip hop music the way I was. You were a Chris Brown fan, #TeamBreezy. Your taste in music was a peculiar one. From Usher, K-Ci & JoJo, Boyz II Men, Ginuwine, Sisqó and the likes. I'm glad to have been born in that era of music because I listened to basically everything you did.

I also remember how much of a cinephile you were. Those days we would critique a movie, strip it down to the poor casting, overacting or some ridiculous scene, and just laugh about it 😂. Sometimes the conversation after the movie was even better than the movie itself. Those little things may have seemed ordinary at the time, but now they mean so much more. These are memories I'll take with me for life.

Those memories were not mine alone either. When you passed, people shared their own tributes about you, and reading through them made it clear how many lives you had touched in different ways. Everyone seemed to have their own version of Dayo, their own memory, their own reason for remembering you fondly. It was comforting to see that the impact you had on people went far beyond what I knew as your brother.

I honestly cannot put into words what grief has looked like over the year. Mimi still talks about you at the slightest chance she gets. She cries for you and continues to grieve your absence. I sometimes wonder how she was strong enough to make it through this first year after your passing.

The truth is, everyone has had to learn how to carry your absence in their own way. Some days are easier than others. Then there are days when something small brings everything back again, a song, a memory, a conversation, or just the thought that you should have been here for something. 

I still carry with me everything I haven't mentioned here. It hurts that you never lived to see those dreams we spoke about. Dreams you looked forward to not just for yourself, but for everyone else around you. There were plans, ideas and things you still wanted to fix, improve and experience. I sometimes think about how different things might have been if you had been given more time.

But I also try not to let the sadness of how things ended erase everything that came before it ☺️.

You were here.

You lived.

You laughed with us, argued with us, shared music with us, watched countless movies with us and left memories that death cannot simply take away.

One year later, I still miss you terribly. I still wish there were conversations left to have and more walks left to take. I still wish you had gotten the chance to see some of the things we used to talk about become real.

But honestly, I'm grateful for the years we did have.

I'm grateful I got to call you my brother. No one else can fill those shoes.

And wherever life takes the rest of us from here, a part of you will always go with us.

Rest easy, Temibusy 🕊️.

Always remembered. Always loved.